Know your members: Jack_Spades

wai ren liek paras?

 

While I was in my bedroom, a great flash of white light filled the room and a naked man surrounded by dugongs suddenly appeared and was reading out of a book called Duonie, I think it was some kind of religious book. He told me that the great dugong of Paramonthia is watching over me and with that he made out with a dugong and another flash of white light filled the room once again and he was gone. What in the deep fiery depths of hell just happened?

 

hows life in Avici?

 

One day, you're on a boat.

...

Why are you on a boat?

 

If you could change anything in the world, what would it be?

 

A nice guy that likes dogs.

Why are you asking me?

You're high,case closed.

Not bad.

Who gives a shit,I'm on a boat!

Infinite supply of fuel.

 

Lol

Chattango or IRC ?

 

Do you looooooooove waffles?

 

I hang around chatango more but both are okay.

They're not a bad snack I guess.

 

zoids?

 

Steroids?

 

wai toffee mad?

 

I not mad.

Wai fuyu think I mad?

 

What do ya think of me?

 

Herp derp?

And would you rather drink spoiled milk or lick Barbra Streisand's forehead?

 

I have a couple of models in my closet.

No,thank you.

He mad.

SHE JELLY.

I think jonez is a pretty cool guy,eh moderates the share section and doesn't afraid of anything.

Hurrrrr
Spoiled milk sounds way better.

 

I was walking around town just the other day and saw a man in trouble at a hot dog stand. He was complaining about this curly black hair on his hot dog, naturally I assumed he didn't have enough of it so being the great and helpful person that I am, I ripped a large amount of pubic hair out of my pants and put it all over his hot dog. Just as I was about to do the ole modest "no thanks necessary sir.". He got mad and I mean mad, I mean really really mad. His face got all red and I almost thought he was going to explode, he almost sounded like that teacher on Charlie Brown, except angrier. I mean I was just trying to help, so before things got out of hand I took my trusty genital icepack out of my underwear and put it on his face to cool it down, that just made him angrier. He then began to bite my face, kick my eyebrow and punch my nipple. I'm lucky that the police arrived when they did, he said he was going to choke me to death with my own butthole. He swore at me when I was just trying to help, I mean who does that? People these days are so weird and rude... So what weird things have you experienced with people?

 

I told a girl she smells like my poop and she slapped me for some reason.

 

Who is your avi?

Most awkward momemt?

Hot or cold food?

Favourite thing?

 

So I was minding my own business when there was this huge blackout and I heard sinister laugh coming from the kitchen. Naturally I grabbed my iron baseball bat to go kick some deformed zombie behind but to my surprise there was a naked old lady that had the voice that sounded like... A bunch of kittens being shoved into a blender with expired coffee beans and miniature sperm whales with a splash of milk by a koala. I asked her what she was doing in my home and she said she was here to take my soul... Oh and to get pissed and have meaningless hot gorey sex with my whole family in her "rape dungeon". I was about to hit her over the head with my trusty zombie slaying baseball bat; when a giant moldy pink elephant came flying out of my wall, when I looked back at the old lady she was gone and a giant man/dog/seal took her place, it said it has defeated the evil of the Iskallosanirana demon and vanished into thin air. I walked outside and found the whole world lying in ruin, Justin Bieber was songs were heard everywhere, the only thing on at the movies were Twilight and leprechaun were taking sponge baths as far as the eye could see. I then woke up in my bed horrified, I'm never taking acid again, I was tripping balls and not in a good way.

Now it's time for you to share your story, has anything weird ever happened to you? If so, do tell.